Is your little one struggling to fall asleep? Whether it's your baby or toddler taking forever to drift off, your little one crying when it's time to sleep, or your newborn awake for hours at night – I’ve been there, and I understand how challenging and exhausting this can be.
Let's explore the reasons behind your newborn, baby, or toddler fighting sleep and how we can help them rest peacefully.
Why does my newborn fight sleep?
Newborns can resist sleep for various reasons. Here are a few possibilities: Hunger - Likely the most common reason for crying or difficulty settling for sleep. Sometimes, they might simply be hungry and need a feed.
Overstimulation - New experiences, sights, and sounds can be overwhelming, making it hard for your baby to wind down.
Discomfort - Things like a dirty nappy, a temperature, or illness can cause discomfort and make sleep challenging.
Separation anxiety - Whatever their age, babies can miss the comfort of being close to their parents. A newborn is not long outside of the womb, so the familiar feeling and smell of their birth mother can provide the comfort they need to help them drift off to sleep more easily.
Day/night confusion - When a newborn is very sleepy all day, they simply may not be tired enough to fall asleep at bedtime or stay asleep during the night. This will usually last until your baby’s circadian rhythms kick in at around 6-8 weeks.
TOP TIP: Swaddling helps recreate the hugged, secure feeling of being in the womb and can minimise the Moro (startle) reflex which can disturb your baby’s sleep. To increase the chances of you baby settling well and sleeping well, I recommend swaddling until your baby is showing signs of rolling over (usually around 2-4 months).
Why does my baby fight sleep? (5-12 months)
Your 5–12-month-old may fight sleep for several reasons, including some of the changes and discomforts previously mentioned. Here are a few additional factors that can come into play at this age:
Teething - Babies often begin teething around this age, which can cause discomfort and disrupt sleep.
Learning new skills - As your baby learns to crawl, stand, or talk, they can become excited or frustrated, impacting their sleep.
Sleep associations/props - Babies might develop strong preferences for certain sleep conditions, such as being rocked or fed to sleep, making it hard for them to fall asleep without those associations.
Separation anxiety - As your baby becomes more aware of their surroundings, they might feel anxious when separated from their parents.
Changes in routine - Shifts in daily routine or environment, such as traveling or starting at nursery, can affect sleep patterns.
Overtiredness - Your baby can become overtired from fighting sleep due to any of the above reasons, making it more challenging for them to settle down and fall asleep.
TOP TIP: Ensuring your baby is following an age-appropriate routine for naps and feeding will help prevent over- and under-tiredness and help you navigate any changes to routine like holidays or nap dropping.
Why is my 12–24-month-old fighting sleep?
For toddlers aged 12-24 months, as they form their personality, learnt to walk and talk and find their place in your family/the world, sleep resistance can one again be quite common. Here are some factors that might be at play: Separation anxiety - At this age, your child is becoming more aware of their surroundings and how they fit into them. They might feel anxious about being separated from you, especially at bedtime.
Nap transitions - Toddlers often transition from two naps to one nap a day, which can disrupt their sleep patterns.
Teething - Teething can continue into the toddler years, causing discomfort and affecting sleep.
Increased mobility - As toddlers become more active and mobile, they might have a harder time settling down for sleep.
Developing independence - Toddlers start asserting their independence, which can include resisting bedtime routines and rules.
Changes in routine - Any changes in daily routine or environment, like starting daycare or a family holiday, can disrupt sleep.
Growth spurts - Rapid growth and development can sometimes lead to sleep disturbances.
TOP TIP: Consistency is key when it comes to helping toddlers with their sleep. Establishing a predictable bedtime routine, offering comfort objects, and creating a calm sleep environment can make a big difference.
Why does my 2–4-year-old keep fighting sleep?
For children aged 2 to 4 years, sleep resistance can still be quite common, despite having navigated many developmental milestones already. Here are some possible reasons why your little one might be fighting sleep at this age:
Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) - Your 2-4-year-old is keen to explore the world around them and might resist sleep because they don't want to miss out on anything exciting.
Developmental milestones - Significant developmental milestones, such as learning new words, toilet training, or social skills, can lead to heightened activity and restlessness.
Nightmares and night terrors - Dreams become more vivid, and occasional nightmares or night terrors can disrupt sleep, particularly in the earlier part of the night.
Need for independence - Many children this age often need to assert their independence and might resist bedtime as a way of exercising control.
Overstimulation - Busy days filled with activities, screen time, or exciting events can make it difficult for them to calm down and fall asleep.
TOP TIP: Using treats to reward good practices around sleep can really help at this age. An example might be a sticker on a chart for every night your child manages to stay in their bed all night. You can exchange the stickers for a toy or treat of their choice after a few days. Using favourite toys to role play what good sleep looks like can also be fun for your 2–4-year-old, especially when you join in too.
How do I help my baby to stop fighting sleep?
Getting your child to sleep peacefully can feel like a mystery at times, but there are several strategies you can try to help them settle down, whatever their age:
Consistent bedtime routine - Establish a calming and predictable wind-down routine that includes activities like a warm bath, gentle rocking, cuddles, or reading a soothing story.
Create a calm environment - Ensure the sleep environment is quiet, dark, and at a comfortable temperature (pitch black is best for under 12 months). Use white noise machines from 4 weeks until 12 months (but don’t introduce it for the first time after 5 months).
Recognise sleep cues - Pay attention to your baby's sleep cues, such as rubbing their eyes, yawning, or becoming fussy, and try to put them to bed before they become overtired.
Try to follow a regular routine - Consistent nap and bedtime schedules can help regulate your baby's internal clock and make it easier for them to fall asleep.
Limit stimulation before bed - Keep activities calm and quiet in the hour leading up to bedtime to help your baby wind down.
Comforters - A favourite comforter toy (1-5 years), or dummy (0-4 months) can provide comfort and a sense of security to help your child relax.
Check for discomfort - Ensure your baby is comfortable, with a clean nappy and full tummy, and address any signs of discomfort, such as teething pain or illness.
Try to stay calm and patient - Babies can sense your mood, so try to remain calm and patient during bedtime routines or when you help them settle overnight or for naps. Your soothing presence will help them feel safe and secure.
My sleep packages can provide a holistic approach to help your child get better sleep – covering sleep environment, safe sleep, age appropriate routines to follow, night weaning advice, settling techniques and nap management for children aged 4 months to 4 years. If you’d like to talk more about the support available to your family, please book a free discovery call so we can set you on the road to better sleep.
